Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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