it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
