her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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