I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
