Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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