I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
