Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
its not stalking. its research.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize