You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
