420 ftw
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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