Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
