Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
