The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
