is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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