do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
