what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
