We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize