it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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