Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
