i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
