Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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