At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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