Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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