She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
