Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
