So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
