I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
