The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
