Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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