There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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