You can't motorboat a personality
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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