I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
