im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
