Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
