Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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