i may or may not be watching the land before time
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
and you fell through a lawn chair
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