i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
