I like my sex mixed with concussions.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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