Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
