Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
A bitchslap is in order.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
