I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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