Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
