Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dignity is for republicans.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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