you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
