I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
