I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
