guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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