sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
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