Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
