She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
