she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
