she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
