boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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