I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
