dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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