For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
