You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
