Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
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