As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
