I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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