Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize